I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
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he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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