wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
