Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize