I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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