You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER