Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?