She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.