Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?