Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
