dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..