Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize