Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize