i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I could fuck to npr.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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