we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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