I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
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I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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