Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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