There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
