yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
