He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't turn off my feet"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
