how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
