youre lurking in front of me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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