i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
