so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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