so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
