I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
