I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
