i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
