THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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