Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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