hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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