can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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