Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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