I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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