You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
