It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
