I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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