Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
