I don't usually arrange sex via text message
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
