I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
