So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
