its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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