HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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