shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
