Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
