..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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