She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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