I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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