bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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