Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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