Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
