You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize