we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize