I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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