I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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