were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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