That's intense
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
