So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
