last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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